I just want to junk punch...

Now I am not a hateful person, there are just a few people in the world that I just want to kick and or punch in the junk.  First up to bat... Rachael Ray, ok first off, why the extra a?  And not only do her recepies sound gross most of the time, but especially after the 30 minute meals shows they look like they will give you a case of the ass pisses... not really what I am looking for out of a meal.  Maybe I am a foodie snobby bitch, but I am pretty sure that your food should not look like someone took a shit on a plate and sprinkeld some parsley or doused it in mayo.  Gross.  That and her stupid products, really why would you go buy a GB bowl!? really?! You feel the need to spend money on a bowl to hold your garbage??? I feel like I must be missing something cause last time I checked, I can just take a bowl from my cupboard and do that right?  Or is this a magical bowl that will take the trimmings of whatever I am doing and convert it to somthing that patches the ozone layer and stop global warming or something?

My next candidate is Bobby Flay, god maybe he can kinda cook, but honestly I think it is just him that bugs me.  He just has this air abiout him of I am so great.  And why does everything he makes have to contain ancho chilis, or mole and that stupid signature sauce.  I mean I may be full of myself but some of his dishes just seem like common sense.  He makes it seem like some unicorn came to him at night at whispered the recepie to him in the form of stars and rainbows while he was dreaming about puppies and kittens... really grilled corn with queso, chili powder and lime or grilled corn salad... talk about brain buster recepies.  And mind you I personnaly have never seen him actually win a throwdown.  Maybe he has but you know when your record is like 100 losses to 2 wins, you shouldn't be such a cocky ass. 

Guy Fieri...

 Nuff said

Lastly, Zane Lamprey.  I will say this his job is great and I wish it was mine.  And that must be some experience, but to go to these different countries and just act like and asshole while these people are trying to teach you about their culture.  This makes you suck.  Also is it just me or is this just a rehash of the Anthony Bourdain concept except without the appreciation for what he is doing and lack of actual intellegance!?  I swear if I ever was stuck on a NJ transit, right before a platform of a station because there are leaves on the track, with the guy in front of me on his cell phone and these four assholes behind me all eating popcorn out of those stupid brown bags... this scenario would be my own personal hell.